The Getto, Witch, and the Wardrobe
by Dick Rash
Summary: A different take on the book. For example, what if a ghetto kid went to the wardrobe with a gun.


**I don't own Narnia, or any else I may use in the future.**

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You know living in the ghetto ain't that bad. Sure everyday I'm supposed to have my gat with me, but that takes away the fun. I have a total of three siblings. Steve, Ashley, or Ass as I call her, and Sabina. Me, my name is Kevin, but in the hood. My names shadow, or kage in Japanese, which I prefer by the way.

I live in Los, Angeles, and my life is an everyday struggle. Once I shot a cat when it took a shit in my sandwitch. Bitch ass cat, anyways as I was saying; my life is a constant life and death situation. Our parents are long gone. My brother, and I always do our best to support our sisters, but sadly our best ain't enough. To make matters worse the local crips, and bloods; banged on our house once a day. But we're prepared. Well I always am.

I have my shotgun, cally as I call her, and my AK-47 with me at all times. Except on the streets of course. Everything was fine until the bitch-ass government found us. Since we are still under aged; they sent us to live in some orphanage somewhere in Brooklyn. I flicked the black guy off when he said that. We just got here and life so far seems bland. Except our caretaker is a bitch ass mother fucker that can't take a shit right, but I know that fucker is straight up G. I snuck up to his room once, and dang. His shit was filled with guns. I thought to myself then and there that he might be into some kind of business, but hey why do I care.

Going into my room I was greeted with the sight of my naked sister Ashley, or ass. "fuck!" Ashley glanced at me, and covered herself with anger in her eyes. She grabbed the top shelf of her drawer and threw it at me. How she had the strength to do that greatly confused me. "get the fuck out!" I winced t her voulme.

"bitch!' I reply with a scowl, "Close the fucking door!" she sneered at me, and I had an eerie impression that she was going to get me back later on in the day.

I mumbled to myself a little before I walked into my room. "Another day another dollar," yeah, yeah yeah. Every day is the same routine with me. Kill a few, bang a lot. But the rest is left for the scraps. Don't make much sense, but ya' get used to it if ya' know.

For some reason I felt like playing cops and robbers with my sibling. Talk about an itch. "Hey, who wants to play cops and robbers?" I heard the echos of feet hitting the floor, and I had a super grin on my face. I realized that every body, no matter how old loves to shoot shit.

My brother, and two sisters appear. My brother, and a serious expression on his face. Pff, asshole. Who's he trying to impress. Himself? My to sisters just looked the same. Both with nasty attitudes. Bitches.

"Who's the cops?" my sister's pointed at us. Figures. Hey love to take shit anyways. My brother scofed to himself, and nodded. Retarded bastard. I looked at him in the corner of my eyes' and saw him picking his nose. He tried to do that secretly but dumbass sucks. I give a shake of my head. "Weapons?' I ask them.

They shrug, and look at our care taker's weapon vault.

I shrug, and walk up to an MPK-9. I strap the gun to my waist and grap a hunting rifle as well as a my trusted AK-47. I miss caffy. My sisters each grab a bazooka, and a regular magnum, while my brother grabs a pistol. He looked at my seriously. I tried not to laugh at his face, but I failed miserably. He narrowed his eyes' at me, and that made me laugh harder.

"Fuck you looking at me lie that," he gave me a lo that promised pain. Asshole.

"Ya' ready?' I ask a little excited.

They nod, and they leave m=me, and my brother to count.

100 Mississippis'' later.

I was about to blast on my sisters when my little sister, Sabina dragged a corpse in her hand. I looked at the body with a what the fuck expression on my face. 'What is this,' she shrugged.

'where you get it," she looked thoughtful before she replied. "I hid in this wardrobe, and for some reason I ended up in some bitch ass place. I shot this-this-whatever it is, when I first saw it." My mouth mouthed an O.

"Show me," I state with an aloof expression on my face. My sister rolls her eys' at that. Meanwhile, my brother, Steve looks at the body with seriousness.

My sister showed me the wardrobe, and I order, "Stay here till I get back. All'ight fuckers?" they all shrug. I flick them all of as I walk through.

I entered the wardrobe with one thing in mind: what the fuck did I smoke yesterday. I felt something slap my dick, and it was a tree. Well it's bark, but who cares. I cover my privates, and walk forward.

As I take a step a funny looking chariot almost ran me over. The chariot stopped,and a little miget walked out. It practically skipped to me.

I reacted on instinct, and shot that little piece of shit with my MPK-9. The white-bitch inside the chariot looked surprised on how the little bastard die. I walk up to the chariot, and look at the bitch inside. "wanna do it,' I guess I sounded a little desperate now that I think about it. She looked at me amused before she shrugged.

"Alright,' she replied. I got on her chariot, and fondled her big ass white fur thing. After 10 minutes of trying to take it off, I scowled, and reached for my MP-9. She looked interested on what I was f=going to do. She did expect for me to shot her I the brain. I was a little, too, agitated to even think. Bitch wasn't even all that fine anyways.

I jump out the chariot, and shot the little mutated rain-dear she had. Just looking at'em made me sick anyways.

I whistle, and walk back out the forest and into the wardrebe where my siblings where still waiting.

"I'm back!"

"Back from what,' my brother said a little stupidly. Seriously I think he tries to act smart, but that just, makes him look dumber. "Nothing" I reply. I look at the MPK-9 in my hand and at the h=guns in their hands, and offer, "Play?'

Ashley looked hurt, "Fuck that I'm going shopping," I raise an eyebrow when she walked out with her bazooka in hand.

The other two shrug and follow her, and I did, too.

But what I didn't know was tat I saved that bitch ass fantasy land without even trying. And all it took was a bullet to some bitch head.

**Well I decided to do this after I watched Narnia with my brothers. I asked them if what if, it was getto kids in the future who discover it, insteed of those pansy-ass kids from the past. They laughed at that, because seriously. If we had a gun while they only had swords, shit we'll conquer that land without even trying. We'll be gods compared to them.**

**Anyways, fuck Narnia!**

**Ja Ne~**


End file.
